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Post by Admin Roc on Jun 4, 2011 7:07:45 GMT -5
(( Continued from FS.)) {Will update with Lesson 2 Report Card and Final Lesson Instructions at first opportunity.} |
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Post by Admin Roc on Jun 23, 2011 10:33:09 GMT -5
[/center] ~OTHER NOTES~
- Point gains have been drastically ramped up now that we're on SoV instead of FS. Enjoy!
- Remember what I mentioned previously about breaking up run-on sentences into ideas. This is still a significant grammar issue in your writing; try to stick to just one complete thought per sentence for now.
- You're also running into a lot of spelling issues; while I'm not a strict grammarian by any stretch of the imagination, the accumulated impact of these tiny mistakes does have a negative impact on the reader's perception of your work. To remedy that I'd suggest composing any long post in Word (or a similar program) or using a browser-based spell check (Firefox I know has one; you may have to do some research for your browser of preference). Either one will help you catch problems with the greatest of ease.
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KEY LESSON
It's easy to ignore, or simply not pick up on, the advantages offered by terrain in an RP battle... but few things could be more powerful.
The influence of terrain is sometimes fairly obvious. In a ranged fire fight the absence of cover can easily create desperate situations; tight quarters favor small weapons and characters with high agility; the presence of smoke or fog is more than just a dramatic effect, often a strategic opportunity waiting to happen; and most things don't react well to being dunked in lava. But there are subtle elements of an environment that can be just as critical. The ancient and oft-quoted Chinese military genius Sun Tzu speaks extensively about terrain in his famous treatise The Art of War, which is recommended reading for any RPer who intends to be involved in Missions or Sparring.
Similar is the concept of "exploiting" attacks. When a character is under attack it's very easy to fall back on a list of staple combat moves: block, dodge, block, dodge, et al. The important thing is not to think of an incoming attack as something to be rid of at first opportunity so you can go back on the offensive; rather, every threat to your character is in reality an opportunity for interesting writing. Saying that a character dodged something is dull -- saying that they threw themselves hard to one side, rolled, and came back up in a crouch is much more interesting and visual. Similarly a "block" is only as good as it's description: when swords meet the reader expects to "hear" the ringing clash of steel on steel, "see" the gleam of polished blades grinding against one another, and "feel" the warrior's muscles straining, tense and aching, with sweat dripping from his brow as he looks into the hateful face of his foe. Similar principles apply to counter-attacks and taking damage; simply saying what happens is second rate compared to letting your readers "live" it!
Both the use of terrain and exploiting an enemy's attacks are considered under the more general concept of "reflective writing" -- that is, taking a given circumstance and responding to it in unusual and interesting ways. This is still of secondary importance to the value of a well-built character and a well-told narrative, but can easily support those two and goes a long way towards keeping combat fresh. The vast doors of Shibusen loomed before him, almost radiant in the growing darkness of the dream-world. Clay's hand was upon the handle... when suddenly the light returned. "Long have I waited,
Drifting like flotsam
On the vast seas of
Mankind's collective unconscious."
"Waiting
For a mind
To stumble into my domain
And set me free of this dream forever." It seemed to come out of nowhere, twisting and dancing around Clay like an insect, always just out of reach. The little ball of light was unmistakably interested in him now; it had led him here, through all the obstacles, for a purpose, and now it's moment was at hand. "Yours
Will do
Nicely. [/color] "[/right] And suddenly the light shot downwards, towards the ground at Clay's feet. It rippled like water at the radiant orb's touch, vanishing into the folds of the earth like it had dived into a swimming pool. For several long seconds nothing seemed to happen... ... then Clay's shadow began to twist and turn as though it were being pulled right out from under him. With an audible snap! it broke free of his body, dragged into the ground by invisible hands. A chill laughter filled the air; chains of black mass shot suddenly up from the cobblestone, twining themselves around the doors and holding fast. The candle-spires of Shibusen suddenly flickered... then, with a hiss, the flames went out. And, at the center of the platform, a shadow-black form rose from the depths. It was Clay's mirror-image in all ways, bereft of color and hued by midnight itself. Its black visage was broken only by a pair of gleaming, glowing white eyes that locked on him and held fast. This copy, this doppelganger, looked at him with an unnatural hunger. Only one of them would be leaving this place. [/u][/color] The guardian of this place has been watching your character very closely; each obstacle until now has been it testing them, learning about them. Now that it has seized your character's shadow you have a real fight on your hands. The final challenge is thus: [/i][/b]. Do so realistically and with attention to your own strengths and weaknesses (and those of your character), and you will have succeeded in your training.[/ul] Once your character has defeated their dark twin the chains on the doors will vanish and they can leave, waking up from this terrible dream. This is the last challenge you will face. Fight well. The minimum word count for this exercise is 2000 words. FINAL LESSON GRADINGBasic Expectations: 10 Points Creativity: 20 Points Tacticality: 30 Points Evidence of Analysis: 90 Points TOTAL POSSIBLE: 150 Points (Bonus points can be added for truly *exemplary* RPing, but you must go above and beyond.)[/ul] |
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Post by claymore on Jun 24, 2011 16:45:51 GMT -5
(change of music =D don't know if i can change it just like that but it worked me up this far www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7Xki6IKm70&feature=autoplay&list=PL343023C992950A2E&index=56&playnext=56 and www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z3Wrg1vpHY&feature=autoplay&list=PL343023C992950A2E&index=59&playnext=59 ) Soo close, he was soo close to leave this cursed place now, little did he know that the real enemy had just shown itself. He looked over the great shibusen as for a last farewell of this cursed yet somehow entertaining place, if he told anyone they would call him a madman and laugh at his tale of strange happenings. The light which had drawn him here to the end had appeared again as he thought it was here to give its gratulations and farewells but that wasn't the case, it spoke weirdly again, it had expected him? why would he free it and how?. The light flew around him as annoying as a bug as he stood still like it was some kind of wasp which would attack if he moved, how was he to help it, why was it here, was there still something to be done? all these questions went trough his head as he stared at the light which he thought was his friend. The light spoke again and his thoughts of it being friendly were wiped out instantly as he jumped back wards from the door. The light disappeared below his feet with sounds and then gone from his sights below the ground, he had fallen to the ground in the rush from all that had happened, was the light backstabbing him or was it ever with him? the space of time where nothing happened made him wonder if all these strange things would ever stop. Mirrors which showed things inside you, giants spiders and deadly gravity and the clone of crystal with both his true form and swordsmanship in hand. All of these things had scared him, it made him feel things he never wanted to experience again, he thought of all these things during the time where nothing happened and tried to figure out what the light wanted. Feeling like something was being snatched away from him got him back to the alert as he got up and looked over his surroundings, he understood this was the lights doing when he saw his very own shadow struggling not to leave him, trying to stay with its owner as it was being dragged away and it grasped for him with its hands and screaming, obviously shadows couldn't make sounds but he felt it, it felt just horrible. No matter how much it struggled it was in vain as it was finally broken free for its master and Clay was sure he had felt a stabbing feeling to his heart, something was missing. And with that came a dark laughter which sent chills down his spine, something black covered the door which he assumed wasn't a good sign, the light from shibusen turned unstable and disappeared and Clay was left with an world slightly darker and more unfriendly than before. He felt something appearing from not far away, a shadow this time instead of crystal took his shape, it felt more vile than the last one, compared the crystal clone didn't feel vile at all. The shadow had taken his full appearance all in black except for those eyes of glimmering white, somewhere inside of them he was sure he felt his own shadow. Those eyes stared at him and the aura they gave were full of immeasurable hunger, Clay had been touched by darkness before and his foot still hurt slightly. Clay had a feeling that the darkness would attack him soon so he decided to strike first, with his stature like a big T with his arms all out he decided to try something which would give the darkness a hard time, he turned both his arms into blades and charged at his target. The clone did the same and they clashed at the center of the platform, with blades everywhere the sound of metal clashing together and bounce of would repeat itself far to many times. Clay was taking far to much damage and it didn't take long until he was full of small cuts as the result of his slow reaction time, the clone however was much stronger than that of the crystal and hadn't taken any damage at all, it had read is counter counter attacks as if they were slow motion and had easily sent him flying with his own extreme brute force. He wouldn't be able to win like this, he jumped back and so did the clone both walking slowly to the left, waiting to attack they continued walking to the left in a circle, Clay had only the power to keep one blade left as his right arm had taken too much damage while the clone didn't suffer a bruise and still walked with both its blades out. This was coming to an end, clay wouldn't be able to fend of the shadow much longer and stopped his doomed walk while sweat and blood poured down his face, it hurts it hurts soo much, it would be soo much easier to lay down... no he wouldn't do that no matter the pain, he was known to be unmovable and he kept on standing even with the injuries he had gotten which were quite many. They both attacked each other again and Clay swinged his blade with all of his might and wild strength down at his opponent who had put his own blades as a cross waiting for his strike, and with an large clang of the weapons it became a competition of brute force. The clone was winning it, Clay thought about things he would never see again, his beloved bird Svart, that damn oddball school and the fact that he would never become an musician now... ''no it cant end like this'' Clay shouted refilled with strength, he pushed the shadow to the ground with rage in his eyes and a will to keep on living. Next thing he knew the clone disappeared and he fell to the ground exhausted, he laughed at the victory he thought impossible, his shadow had returned to him and slowly he got up trying not to fall of balance due to the injuries. the darkness surrounding the door were gone and he walked back to it yet again and grabbed its handle, hoping for dear god nothing bad would happened this time the pushed it down and entered trough the door covered in a warm light. |
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